sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
