Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
