Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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