she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
