Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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