Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
