i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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