Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
