Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
