She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
