this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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