I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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