letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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