TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
