His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize