The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
