That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize