Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
