It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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