Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
