You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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