that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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