Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
my poor anus
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
