Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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