All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
