there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
