just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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