I accidentally burped into my bong.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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