lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
