I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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