As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
