party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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