I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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