You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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