They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
As shirtless as possible
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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