I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
