Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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