How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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