And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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