my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
