She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
