I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
