I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize