Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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