In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i already hear my dad disowning me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
