I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
