I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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