My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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