mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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