Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
