He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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