Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
