you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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