I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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