I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
