how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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