Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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