I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
