dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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