ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
