DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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