Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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