i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A bitchslap is in order.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
